“Sister”
My Family, Part 2 | Rhonda Monique Jones
Her Story:
So, how I am feeling is I think I am more scared for my children. And scared for my boys. I know that black women are being killed at the hands of the police. I am not naive. I know that Aubri one day will be a black woman.
My fear is mostly for the boys. Getting them to understand police, how they operate, and police brutality. But living their own truth as well. I don’t want them to suppress who they are and what they believe in. I want them to be authentically, unapologetically black.
I think it does something for them. We see a lot of characters that don’t look like you and don’t go through your struggles. Everyday society is showing you what is acceptable. By the shows you watch. When it comes down to it, like with Tayshawn, he is the oldest, and he is gonna be the first one.
He had called about the police the other day. And it didn’t hit me how much worry he has when it comes to them. How much fear he already has and curiosity.He wants to know why he has to do things differently than other people. And why is it that he is a target. And it’s hard to explain to a 13-year-old 400 years of oppression.
But listening to George Floyd scream “mama” even though he was a grown-ass man. All he wanted was his mama. When you’re in the arms of your mama, it seems like anything can come at you and you’re safe. It’s security. And I don’t want my child to be in that predicament; where he is in his last moments screaming for me, and I’m not able to help him.
So, we’re trying to teach him the “hands up,” “yes sir,” “yes ma’am,” stay respectful, but be aware of your surroundings and what’s going on. And also trying to teach him tone and not to be sarcastic (because he loves to joke) and not to make too much conversation. Just answer their questions the best you can. Don’t get smart. Keep your hands in their sight and always keep eye contact.
So it’s just hard. It’s hard to raise a young black man. And I’m not raising one, I’m raising three of them. So, as a mother, it’s scary. It’s absolutely scary that someday someone could just wipe my baby’s life out just because he’s not the same shade as you or he spoke to you in a certain tone or you feel threatened.
I know I have good boys, but the world doesn’t know that my boys are good, and I think that’s what hurts the most. I’m getting all choked up about it. Because I know that they’re good boys, but the world does not know. Just watching all the slideshows of Breonna Taylor and Trayvon Martin just getting some skittles. Those things scare me into parenting a certain way.